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[Aug. 16th, 2008|04:03 am] |
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i dont know whether reading the chat history between priscilla and j was a good thing or a bad thing.i dont know what exactly im feeling now.i'm upset, yes.betrayed, definately.no doubt it was in the past, but hey the past wasnt all that long ago.the fact that the both of them conspired so blatantly against me and screwed my holiday up completely.did anyone gain anything whatsoever out of this? no.j and priscilla may not be friends now, but the fact is the damage has been done.you dont know unless you've been in the position.i am already scarred of course i'll be upset reading back on all that shit.WHAT IF i kept my mouth shut and decided to keep what priscilla told me about j to myself? they would still be conspiring against me at this point in time.i don't know if i can truly forgive j for that matter.i dont know.i cant get over it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 16th, 2008|02:06 pm] |
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excitement of the week:guitar heroes. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 13th, 2008|06:45 pm] |
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so we'll say our goodbyes |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 25th, 2006|01:28 pm] |
I know if destiny’s kind, I’ve got the rest of my mind.
But my heart, it don’t beat, it don’t beat the way it used to.
And my eyes, they don’t see you no more.
And my lips, they don’t kiss, they don’t kiss the way they used to, and my eyes don’t recognize you no more. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 15th, 2006|02:09 am] |
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"it's like you're cruising along in a beautiful car on a pleasant country road with the breeze in your hair and the smell of eucalyptus all around you. the horizon is always up there ahead, unfolding toward you, and at first you don't notice the gradual descent, or the way the atmosphere thickens. bit by bit, the gradient gets steeper, and before you realize you have no brakes, you're going pretty fucking fast. so what did we do, once the descent began? we learned how to drive well, under hazardous conditions. we had each other to egg each other on. there was neither room nor need for passengers. maybe also we were thinking that one day our car would sprout wings and fly. i saw that happen in chittychittybangbang. it's good to live in hope." |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 8th, 2006|10:35 am] |
i was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
After all this why
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
blind-lifehouse |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 4th, 2006|11:48 pm] |
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i am exhausted.exhausted everything.just moved back into my old house after living overseas for 6 years or so? feels kinda weird but its good cause i get my own privacy and shit now.just managed to fix up the computer and move all my clothes into the wardrobe.my gastric is killing me.been having it for four days now? ahhh fuck.moving is stressful.everything is everywhere and im going nuts. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 3rd, 2006|11:00 am] |
first of all, thanks dee.i really appreciate you being there for me.
havent eaten anything since yesterday noon.i have completely lost my appetite.i feel no resentment, nor hate, nor anger.i feel somewhat relieved knowing that i've done something good for someone who remains special to me, yet there's just so much sadness.it engulfs my being.my heart feels dead? i don't know what i'm feeling.i've done all my crying.be strong be strong be strong.it's like a mantra going through my head.only time will tell.only time will tell. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 25th, 2006|09:28 pm] |
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this
Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't to do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been away
Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line to try to turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
By hurting you |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 25th, 2006|02:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
when you go, would you have the guts to say, "i don't love you, like i loved you, yesterday" |
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seraphick's journal